I struggle with confidence.
We all do. Anyone who tells you they’re 100% confident all of the time is lying; everybody has their shaky moments! You’re not alone.
Confidence comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of your mind and body and a sound belief in your abilities. When the pressure is on, confidence helps you rise to the occasion and encourages you to set amazing goals. There are times when our confidence takes a hit, maybe you bombed during a presentation at work or took critical feedback really hard.
On top of this, many of us are dealing with an inner-critic who’s negative self chatter can seem relentless! Work at taking charge of building up your confidence and see it pay off in spades.
Here are five things you can do immediately to feel more confident.
Pay attention to your appearance
I’m not saying it’s all about how you look, but the truth is, to feel really confident on the inside, sometimes it means making a few simple changes to the outside. Think about the brand ‘You’ you want to show the world.
I’m not talking about trying to lose 50 pounds or getting plastic surgery. It might mean buying a new outfit or getting a great haircut. Or maybe you’re sitting there in your sweats, feeling a little frumpy and not confident – so go put on a skirt and glam up a little! Or if you’re feeling a little ‘plain Jane’ in the moment, pop on a bit of lip gloss.
Simple stuff. You don’t have to go to great lengths, just do little things that help you show up feeling your best self, feeling beautiful, feeling in control and feeling in charge.
It’s about making a few external tweaks so you can have that internal feeling of I’m going to rock this, watch out world!
Get those feelings buzzing on the inside and confidence will shine on the outside.
It’s common to feel less confident about new or potentially uncomfortable situations. One of the keys here is preparation. When you’re going into a presentation, if you’re really well prepared, it’s much easier to be super confident.
Or maybe you’re going to a party and feeling nervous about meeting new people. If you don’t like coming up with small talk, memorise a few random questions to ask so you appear more confident. Or have three bullet points of things that you can talk about when you meet someone new.
Even a little preparation can help you feel like you’re ready to rock it instead of feeling overwhelmed and freaking out.
Rock the ‘Power Pose’
Have you seen Amy Cuddy’s ‘Power Pose’? If not, google it right now.
Amy Cuddy teaches power poses and how non-verbal behaviours really influence the way we’re perceived, including how confident we are.
My favourite one is the Wonder Woman power pose. When you want to feel more confident, put your hands on your hips, stand up tall, stand up strong, look fierce (like Wonder Woman!) for two minutes and see what a boost it gives your confidence.
The pose is backed by science too. During research, saliva tests were taken before and after from people who did the Wonder Woman pose. Afterwards, cortisol levels (stress levels) reduced significantly and testosterone levels, which all of us have and make us feel more confident, rose.
Something as simple as this is such an effective confidence booster. It’s great to do every morning in the mirror. If you’re going into an important work presentation or meeting someone new, do it for two minutes.
You might feel like a little bit of a crazy person initially, but it’s actually kind of fun once you get into it and start imaging yourself with the cape on….ok, now I’m taking it too far!
Practice affirmations and visualisations
That leads into the next confidence boosting habits: affirmations and visualisations. These will totally take your power pose next level!
While you’re working your Wonder Woman pose, start to say affirmations like, “I am confident, I am beautiful, I am worthy. I am enough.”
Affirmations are uplifting statements we say to ourselves and usually most effective when we say them out loud.
Think about what’s going to spark positive thoughts inside you and start making those affirmations. While you’re posing and making those affirmations, say you’re going to an event, start to visualise how the event is going to be. How you’re going to feel. If you’re going to meet new people, visualise how it will happen, how you’re going to look, how the interactions are going to go.
Or maybe you just want to show up with more confidence on a regular day? Start to visualise going through the day as the most confident, bold version of you.
Visualisation works because neurons in our brains transmit information and interpret imagery as equivalent to real life action.
By visualising it, you actually start to create it for yourself. The more you say those affirmations and the more you visualise your day, the more your day will start panning out that way.
Fake it til you make it
I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but my final tip is fake it until you make it. I’m not telling you to be a fake person, absolutely not, you have to be you. A little bit bolder, but you.
When I say fake it until you make it, I mean there’s going to be situations where you feel hella uncomfortable and not at all confident. You’re like, “Eeeeek, this is really, really scary!”
But what you’re going to do is put a big smile on your face and push through it. You’ll have so many knots in your stomach, but you’re gonna go right ahead and do it anyway.
Every time you push through a challenging situation with a little ‘fake it’ you’re starting to build the muscle of confidence. One of the best ways to create confidence is to force yourself to feel it. After awhile, the discomfort fades, you don’t need ‘fake’ it anymore; you’re the real deal!
So, there’s 5 things you can do right now to make you feel more confident. I want to see you be you… but the bolder, more badass, more Wonder Woman version of you!
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